


Distant Hopes

by Mysticmcknight



Series: Doctor Fest [3]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2018-10-27 00:11:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10797669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mysticmcknight/pseuds/Mysticmcknight
Summary: Sometimes people have to travel far to find the hope to face their present, whether they want to or not.





	Distant Hopes

Julian was tending to Garak’s minor wound, having tended to eighty-three patients earlier that day, and his day was far from over. He moved to and fro with clinical efficiency, the only way to handle the large overflow of patients he was receiving ever day since the war broke out between the Dominion and the Federation. 

“There, your wound has been attended too,” he stated flatly, and started to prepare for his next patient, but it seemed that Garak had something more on his mind. 

“Well, my ‘Dear’ Doctor, if it were possible, I’d say that you are the first human Vulcan I have ever met,” he growled as he got up after trying to engage the young man in some ‘real’ conversation only to be ignored on all levels. “Wait, on second thought, saying you were as cold as a Vulcan would be unfair,” he stated easily. 

Julian was going to thank him for his retraction…

“No, that wouldn’t be fair to the other Vulcan’s I have met; compared to you they’re overflowing with emotions,” he growled and exited the sickbay. 

//Well,// Julian thought, as he arched a brow in Vulcan fashion, but instead of thinking of the insult, he turned and got back to work. “We’ll be docking at DS9 this evening, I’ve already sent ahead the list of supplies we will need,” he stated to his head nurse, who only looked at him, nodded, as he continued on with his work. 

By the time they docked at DS9, he had seen and attended to two hundred and ten patients, as well as filed a report on each one, he was exhausted, and paid little attention to the looks he received from his medical staff; they were irrelevant. All that mattered was getting to each patient and healing them as well and as quickly as possible, or someone might die waiting; that was unacceptable…that was all there was too it. 

He headed to his quarters, trusting that his team would handle the loading of supplies on the Defiant, but he would double check things in the morning, he needed rest. He grabbed a quick shower, set his alarm, changed into his pajamas, and curled up under his covers, barely acknowledging the poor lonely teddy bear by his pillow; until he was sound asleep, then he subconsciously snuggled up to it, never hearing the intruders in his room. 

*************

“Doctor Bashir, Doctor Bashir,” a female voice kept calling at him. 

He turned on his side and noticed he was cold and reached for a blanket and it wasn’t there, and hearing the familiar voice he opened his eyes and bolted up right. “Jadzia?” he stated, wondering what she was doing in his quarters, but then he noticed he was not in his quarter, but a very beat up version of his sickbay. “What is going on?” he asked, as he stood up, his feet cold since he was still in his pajamas. 

“I apologize for bringing you here like this, but we need your help,” Jadzia replied, as she handed him a duffle bag. “You’re on the other side, Doctor,” she stated for his clarification. 

“What? You kidnapped me, during a war…”

“I didn’t know you were in a war until I arrived, but even so, your side has many skilled Doctors, we do not. Smiley is dying…if he dies, so does our resistance, we’re still too young to reestablish ourselves, you have to save him,” she stated as she turned her back so Julian could get dressed. 

Julian found civilian clothes and his boots, and his teddy bear, “You brought Kukalaka?” he asked flatly, as he changed into regular clothes. 

“You were hugging him tightly, I didn’t see a choice,” Jadzia smiled over her shoulder. 

Julian would have normally blushed under comments like this, but not today, he simply pushed it aside. “Oh,” was all he stated. “Okay, I’m dressed, show me to my patient, and I’ll see what I can do for him,” he added. 

Jadzia turned and looked at the human doctor, a bit of puzzlement in her eyes, “Hmm, Smiley described you as being overly emotional but charming, had I not known your counter part, until he died in the same accident that has injured, Smiley, I would wonder if I had the correct person,” she stated, then started walking, to the otherside of the worn down infirmary. 

Julian saw the man that he had met a few years ago when he traveled with Kira to the Mirror universe, and had swayed him into joining the resistance; he hadn’t known then that he was starting an entire chain of events and that this man would become a leader of that resistance. He saw a few faces he recognized from his side, and a few he did not, one being a tall slim dark skinned Vulcan, who was standing still, his hands clasped behind his back, looking at the party, that surrounded Smiley’s biobed, like a group of vultures. 

“His chances of survival are two thousand seven hundred and twenty-six, rounded, to one,” he stated evenly. 

“I would recalculate those odds,” Julian stated evenly as he approached his patient, “Now that I am here.” 

“That was including your presence, Doctor,” the tall Vulcan replied. 

Julian arched his brow, “Than your calculations are flawed,” he stated, then turned his full attention to his patient. He was glad that this world’s Jadzia had taken the time to grab a few medical kits from his world, and he pulled out a medical scanner and waved it over the severally burned and injured Smiley O’Brien that looked near death. He looked up, “Do you have a list of your equipment and your supplies?” he inquired, so he knew what he was working with. 

“Jadzia said you may need something like that,” the Vulcan stated and handed him a list. He watched as the human scanned through it as if he didn’t even see it. “If there is a specific item you are interested in, I know the list…” 

“Not necessary, I have seen listed all I need,” Julian replied evenly. He turned toward Jadzia and started giving orders to set up the operating room, then looked at the Vulcan and gave him a detailed list of the equipment he needed, and that he would be scrubbing up, as he had another person prep O’Brien for surgery. With his orders given, he moved off to get ready for surgery. 

“Fascinating,” the Vulcan stated softly, having never seen a human be so efficient and so in control of himself, it was almost…stimulating. He moved off to gather all that was required by the young healer, still amazed at how quickly the young man had taken account of what they had and what he needed. 

**********

The surgery was a success, and Miles ‘Smiley’ O’Brien would live, and his scarring would be a minimal, thanks to the extra work that Julian did before exiting the operating room. 

He tossed his medical scrubs into a bag where others laid to be washed; some way over due, and looked around for something to drink. 

“Would you care for some coffee,” the even toned voice inquired. 

Julian turned to see the tall dark skinned Vulcan, this time his dark eyes didn’t seem as disdainful as they did the first time they met. “I would appreciate that,” he replied evenly, and followed the other man into what passed for a small lounge, no one was using it at the moment, but there was fresh coffee brewing and some food set out…also fresh. “Thank you for anticipating that I would be hungry,” he replied as he was given a hot cup of coffee and a plate of hot food. 

“It is my…pleasure,” the Vulcan replied evenly as he too took a cup of coffee and a plate and joined the young healer. “We were never properly introduced. My name is Tuvok,” he greeted evenly. 

“As you know, Julian Bashir,” he nodded evenly, only a slight hint of a curve to his lips at meeting this man. 

“From what I had observed from the operation, it would seem that I was in error in the placement value I rendered your skills in the equation,” he stated as he sipped his coffee. 

Having served with Vulcan’s before, Julian knew this was as far as an apology he was going to get, not that he needed one. “Understandable, considering the quality of care you people have available to you here,” he stated evenly as he continued with he meal. 

“Perhaps you might consider changing that,” the Vulcan stated, his dark eyes looking intently over his coffee cup as he studied the slim human before him, knowing he held many mysteries compared to the average human or Vulcan. 

“I do not know if Jadzia had the opportunity to inform you, but our side is having a war of its own, the enemy is quite…challenging,” he sighed, the exhaustion showing in his voice. 

“She has, but as she also stated to you, where your side had many skilled such as yourself, we do not. The closest we have to a decent healer is those alien species that are sympathetic to the our cause, but they know little of the human or even Vulcan anatomy, and our people have been enslaved too long, such knowledge has been lost; so many die unnecessarily. With one such as you, aiding and teaching we would be able to increase our survival rate at least by twenty percent,” he stated. 

“Probably double that,” Julian found himself replying, and then paused. Tuvok didn’t seem offended by his off hand comment, but he did. He was going to dismiss it…

“You are quite…cold, for a human; why is that?” 

The words, the question…coming from a Vulcan, unnerved Julian, “I am only being practical, facing the situation around me and taking the most logical way possible to aid as many as possible without compromising quality of care,” he replied. 

“From a Vulcan I would accept such answers with much more ease, however, I have served with many humans and…” 

“Well, there would be your error,” Julian stated, the first sign of emotion since he arrived, showing in his voice, that of self loathing; it didn’t last long before his voice leveled out. “I am not a typical human, therefor I should not be perceived as one,” he stated evenly, taking the moment to get up and gather himself more coffee. 

“How are you not typical?” Tuvok inquired, even more intrigued by this human male. 

Julian knew that question was coming, and since there was no reason to hide it anymore, “I’m genetically enhanced,” he replied quickly and started to finish his meal. 

“Ah,” Tuvok replied, as if it made some sense. “So, because you are enhanced, you feel yourself ‘superior’ to other humans, is that why you do not indulge your human emotions any longer?”

This got a reaction out of Julian, for he stopped in mid-movement of eating his meal, and simply stared hard at the Vulcan, disbelief that he asked such a question. He placed the food back down on his plate, “First off, I do ‘not’ believe I am more superior to anyone. True, I can do more and out think many, this does not make me better than other humans,” he stated as evenly as he could. “Second, the fact that I have chosen not to ‘indulge’ my emotions, is simply because they do not serve me at the moment. We are at war, there are too many patients to care for, there is not time for me to ‘indulge’ in anything that would distract me from my goal; my patients.” 

“As logical as that sounds, that is not a logical course of action for any human to take, nor a Vulcan. Emotions exist, they can not be denied, controlled yes, but not denied; you are in denial of your emotions, Doctor Bashir, nothing more. Sooner or later they will converge on you at the most inconvenient of times. I suggest you ‘indulge’ in them sooner on your terms rather than theirs,” Tuvok replied, placing his plate and coffee cup in the replicator, then turned back to face the young healer. 

“Advice on emotions…from a Vulcan, now that is something I would never have imagined,” Julian replied, not noticing the tiny smirk on his face, as his eye grew dark with a touch of anger. 

“No more so than a human out doing a Vulcan in the hard cold world of logic,” Tuvok replied as he moved in front of the young healer and looked down at him. He reached out his hand toward Julian, but said nothing else, for he knew his actions were clear to this young man, if to no one else, should they had been present. 

Julian saw the hand offered, and for some reason he knew it was an invitation, one he didn’t think a Vulcan would ever make toward him, but here it was. Deep down, he knew Tuvok was right, he had been denying his emotions, and the pull to releasing them in this tall handsome man’s arms grew with every passing second. Before he could process his reply, he found himself taking Tuvok’s hand and following him back to his quarters. 

************

Julian had had male lovers before, but he had never been with a Vulcan, and this was nothing to what he expected. He anticipated a slow coupling, touching, seeking, understanding of the other, the last thing he anticipated was being tossed on the bed and then smothered in passionate kisses…it was heavenly. 

It was like this huge barrier had been shoved down as all his emotions flooded him as he was touched, caressed, with such fire and passion, he didn’t have time to think…simply feel. As the touching continued, his mind felt the presence of another, and he knew it was Tuvok reaching out to him, but it was up to him to accept the temporary bond or not…he suddenly found he wanted to feel it all…ever last bit of it, so he accepted the bond. 

Tuvok’s mind, though orderly was filled with passion, more than anyone could imagine, just pent up, waiting for a proper outlet, and he was it; he was the one Tuvok chose to share his passion’s with, the one he found worthy of it; able to match it, and he did. His own long denied passions matched Tuvok’s kiss for kiss, lick for lick, and touch for touch, as they both grappled with one another, not fighting for dominance, no, they simply couldn’t get enough of each other. 

Julian felt the bites Tuvok was leaving up and down his body, and he arched into each and every one of them, for they burned at his soul, and it having been so cold, relished the heat…the delicious heat so long missing in his life. His mind filled with fire as was his body, then he rolled the gorgeous body on top of him over, feeling the surprise in Tuvok’s mind at how strong he was, then he was nipping down the sleek tangy skin, as his hard need met Tuvok’s and he hissed with desire, as he felt Tuvok’s surge through his mind. 

//NOW! I NEED YOU NOW!// Tuvok’s mind roared into his. 

Julian shifted over the hard need beneath him, needing the same connection as badly as his partner, and damned the fact that he was not prepared, the need was too strong, too long denied, and he eased himself down on the hot fire that filled him as he arched back his head, and closed his eyes, reveling in the sensation of feeling complete...whole…alive…human. “Yes!” he cried out in delight. He then felt strong hand’s grip his hips and the thrusting beneath him, only added to the delight and fire that burned within him, consuming him. “Oh, yes, more,” he cried out, delighting in every inch that moved in and out of him. 

//So good!// Tuvok’s mind roared out, for his body was too disciplined to do it, but his mind expressed all his body was feeling with his young lover, //Take more,// he growled and thrusted harder, then in a difficult move, he had Julian on his back, his legs up on his shoulder as he rammed into his tight golden body with inhuman streanght and passion. 

Julian loved it…no one had ever been able to make him feel this good in bed, and the sensation of being pounded into was sending him higher and higher, then when he felt strong slim finger touch him, knowing that he was very close, his body exploded, “YES!” he screamed at the top of his lungs, feeling Tuvok’s body doing the same, his mind filling with the same cry from his Vulcan lover, though outwardly he never made a sound…then both of them collapsed. 

Both males laid there panting, and quickly gathered control over their bodies, as Tuvok rolled to the side of Julian, the bond still there, //Amazing,// he thought as he embraced his young lover to him tightly. 

Julian couldn’t help it, he giggled, //Sorry,// he said as he snuggled into Tuvok’s arms. 

“For what, being human…that is not something to apologize for, Julian, it is a quality that I happen to admire; though I will admit that some humans over due it,” he stated easily. 

Julian looked up, and had he not had the temporary bond with Tuvok, he would have taken the comment as it was, but he sensed the humor at the last bit and had to smile; his first real smile in months. 

//You have a beautiful smile, why do you hide it so?// Tuvok asked as he leaned in and kissed the soft firm lips of his lover. 

//Are you telling me you find me beautiful?// Julian countered, as he wrapped his arms around his lover’s neck, pulling him in for a deeper kiss. 

//Indeed I do, but that was not my question,// Tuvok thought again, as he eased back from the delightful kiss. “Why do you hide when you do not have too?” he asked. 

Julian wanted to say, why do you, but he knew better, Vulcan’s didn’t hide their feelings, merely controlled them, and now he knew why, for they ran so deep. “I…I had too. There is too much….” He closed his eyes, as the tears long held back now flowed; there was no stopping them now. “Damn,” he swore, kicking himself for crying. 

Tuvok felt the pain his lover had been suppressing, the battles with death and the lose of life, hundreds of people at his fingertips dying, as thousands around him died, and he could do nothing to stop it as more kept coming; he needed to function, so in the name of self preservation he closed his heart off; a dangerous thing for human’s and Vulcan’s to do, but it happened too frequently to both; he himself included. Had he not met this beautiful stimulating soul, he would be traveling the same path of an icy soul himself. He wrapped his lover in his arms tightly, “it is all right that you cry, it is what you need to do, as I need to hold you,” he stated, knowing that his confession was difficult, but necessary for them both. 

The two held each other, as Julian cried himself to sleep and Tuvok remained steady by his side, fully understanding and being supportive of the young healer’s need to cleans his soul and heal, as he himself healed his own by giving of his own soul so freely. Soon both slept and found peace as they did so. 

***********

Julian had been returned home, for both sides knew it was what was needed, and Julian was found innocent of the AWOL charges filed against him, for his disappearance. He was a bit upset that Ben Sisko filed them, but during war time, the Captain had little choice, it was the only way he would get a temporary healer when his CMO was found missing, along with his clothes and his…private property…aka Kukalaka. (Julian never left home without it, so they didn’t think he was kidnapped.) 

But now all was well, or as well as war could be, as Julian unpacked his bag, grabbed a shower and sat on his sofa, looking out among the distant stars. He had found hope in all of the strangest of places…on the otherside, but without it, he wouldn’t have been able to continue on the path he had subconsciously chosen; he was headed for disaster, and Tuvok saw it, and helped him…reached out and touched him, and helped heal him. Julian knew that he still had plenty of wounds that needed tending too, but thanks to Tuvok, he was now facing that fact and could deal with them, one at a time, as his Vulcan lover stated to him, before saying their final goodbyes in private. 

Julian also felt good that he had helped Tuvok in return, for he too had chosen a similar path, and seeing it in another gave him cause to question his choice, and because of their night together, would also take another pathway; one of healing inside. Apart of him wanted to go back to the otherside and take up Tuvok’s offer of helping them, for they were really in bad shape medically, but he couldn’t, not now anyway, for that would still be a form of running away. No, if he did ever decide to go back, if he could go back, it had to be because it ‘felt’ right, not because he was afraid to feel and face his present. 

He got up and headed into his bedroom, and as he sat down to rest, his mind whirled on all that awaited him here, the good, the bad, and the indifferent. //Indifferent, that was what Garak had been trying to tell you,// he thought, as he recalled Garak’s outburst. Some guilt flowed over him, then he pushed it aside, not because he wasn’t facing it, because he knew he would handle it, tomorrow he would see his friend and apologize and buy him lunch and explain to him what was going on inside him, //If anyone would understand, Garak would,// Julian thought, glad that he once again could see that, and felt warm internally as he laid down, curled Kukalaka in his arms, and went to sleep with renewed faith that all would be well…one day at a time. 


End file.
